Anyone Who Knows What Love Is Will Understand
by mindofmetalandwheels
Summary: She loves him more than she loves herself. Angst/Romance Post-Hogwarts fem!Harry/Draco
1. Introduciton

Anyone Who Knows What Love Is Will Understand

Introduction - The Night After The Battle of Hogwarts

She ripped open his black shirt as he pressed himself into her. They fell back together onto the large four-poster bed, moaning in their mutual pleasure. Malfoy's hands gripped at her thighs and pulled her harder, harder, harder onto him. She moaned into the kiss as his cock hit her in just the right spot. Their lips crashed together with long withheld passion, the scent of fire whiskey filling the space between their lips as they pulled away. Malfoy brought his hands up to her face, pushing flyaway hairs out of her face and gazing longingly into her emerald eyes. For hours they explored each other's bodies, feeling things they'd never dared to feel before. And when she woke the next morning, she turned to look at him, that beautiful, terrible, magnificent grey-eyed man she had fallen in love with despite all the odds. So she couldn't really describe the feeling, the black hole which enveloped her chest and consumed her when she saw that he was gone, not a single trace of their night together remaining, save memories swirling around like a tornado in her head.


	2. Chapter 1

Please Leave a review and let me know if you think I should continue or if you have any suggestions. Thanks!

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Anyone Who Knows What Love Is Will Understand

Chapter 1 - Can't Handle It

She thinks back on that night every day. Even now, her children all grown up and going off to Hogwarts, she wonders what could have been. What if she had told him how she felt? He had said he had feelings for her, but that must have been the heat of the moment talking. Lots of people got together immediately after the war, wanting someone to love after losing so many people, and changed their minds shortly after. That morning when she woke, Draco gone, not a trace of him left behind, her heart broke. She never told anyone about that night, not even Ron or Hermione. She had been too hurt, especially after—

"MUUUUM!"

Albus's voice interrupted her train of thought.

"Yes, dear?" Harry asked.

"We need to go! We're going to be late for the game if we don't leave now!" he whined.

"I'll be there in a minute," she responded.

"But Mum, you said that ten minutes ago!"

"Just go wait by the floo, I'm coming," she sighed.

She glanced in the mirror, attempting to straighten her unruly hair for the thousandth time that morning. She gave up with a sigh, grabbed her purse, and headed downstairs to the floo.

When she and Albus came out on the other side, they where at the stadium. The game was about to start. Albus ran up the stairs two at a time, calling after his mother to hurry up so she wouldn't miss the start of the game. Normally she wouldn't want to be late to a game either, but today was different. They were here as the Malfoy's guests, and she always dreaded having to spend time with them. She loved Scorpious; she really did. However, along with Scorpious came his father and seeing him made her feel like her insides were dying, like her intestines were trying to tie themselves up like shoelaces until any circulation of blood was impossible and her organs threatened to explode.

She finally made her way to the private box and stepped inside. The game just started. Albus and Scorpious were deep in conversation and didn't even notice her entering. Draco looked up and gave her a curt nod as she sat down next to him.

"Lovely weather for a game," he said.

"Yes, it is," she replied, trying no to remember the feeling of his breath on her skin.

"Will you be attending the Ministry Ball next Sunday? Astoria keeps talking about how much she wants to see you there," he commented.

"Yes, I promised Kingsley I would attend. I'm sure Astoria has a beautiful dress picked out for it. Why isn't she here today?" Harry asked, despite how jealous she was of Astoria, she couldn't help but like Malfoy's wife. She was one of the nicest people Harry had ever met and treated Albus like her second child.

"Her mother has been a bit under weather lately, so she is visiting her in Paris. What about your husband? Will he be attending the Ball as well?"

"No, he's out of town for work," she replied.

Draco nodded at this, but said nothing more. They sat through the rest of the game in silence. Malfoy and the children seemed transfixed on the game in front of them, but Harry's mind was miles away.

A few weeks after The Night, which is how she had come to think of it, she still hadn't heard so much as a word from Malfoy. She had thought about contacting him, but she wasn't sure what she would even say to him. Now, though, things were different. She didn't just _want_ to talk to him; she _needed_ to talk to him. She fought to gather up all of her Gryffindor courage and apparated to the gates of the Manor. After being granted entrance, she walked up to the intimidating structure before here and knocked on the big oak doors. A house elf she didn't recognize answered and showed her into a formal sitting room to wait. Before Draco showed up, Narcissa Malfoy entered. She was kind and made small talk and offered Harry tea, which she accepted. She also thanked her for helping save her son and for the testimony she had written for them during the trials.

"Honestly, Mrs. Malfoy, you don't need to thank me. I was happy to do it. I owe you so much for protecting my in the forest," she said as she sipped her tea.

"Well then, let's talk about something else!" Narcissa said, beaming. "Have you seen the announcement in the paper today? We are so thrilled for our Draco."

Not sure what Mrs. Malfoy was talking about, she took the paper that was being held out to her. At the top of the page was a picture of Draco and a woman she didn't recognize. She looked at the header to see which section she was looking at and her heart almost stopped. "ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCMENTS" it read. Her breath stopped. Her heart beat twice its normal rate. Her hands began to shake slightly.

At this moment, Draco finally entered the room.

"Sorry for the delay. The Aurors had a few more questions for me," He said with a shrug. "Hello, Potter. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Harry looked up from the paper, not sure what to say now.

"I…uh…Just, wanted to tell you congratulations!" She stumbled over her words and with a forced smile continued, "Congratulations on your engagement!"

She got out of that house as quickly as she could. She apparated to a nearby market, too upset to go home yet. She stood outside a magical pet store with cages of kneazles waiting to be adopted and tried not to cry. A black and white kneazle rubbed its head against her hand playfully while she tried to catch her breath. This couldn't be happening. She was supposed to tell him. What was she to do now? She had to go back. He deserved to know, and she needed to tell him.

"Excuse me?" A tall, dark haired man a few years older than her approached her. "That kneazle seems particularly fond of you. And he doesn't normally like people."

She looked at him absently.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She did not respond.

"My name is Jack," he continued, "You look pretty pale. Maybe you should sit down?"

Harry couldn't hear him any more.

"Miss? MISS?" He shouted. "YOU'RE BLEEDING!"

Harry looked down and saw the blood. There was so much. She didn't know she had that much blood inside her. She tried to sit down, but before she had the chance, everything went black.

* * *

Some time later she awoke on a bed in Saint Mungo's. The man from the market, Jack, was still there, sitting next to her in a white chair with the latest issue of The Quibler open on his lap.

"You're awake!" he said with a smile.

"Yeah…" she said, still somewhat dazed. "What happened?"

"I…uh, I think the Healer should explain that," he said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

She looked at him. He was handsome, with black hair and a crooked smile that gave him a mischievous look. He was dressed oddly for a wizard too. He was wearing a fleece lined jean jacket and muggle trousers and boots. The trousers and boots were covered in blood.

"Is that my blood?" she asked.

Jack nodded solemnly.

Before she could ask, even though she felt sure she knew the answer, the Healer entered the room.

"Miss Potter," he said. "I'm glad to see you awake and alert. You lost a lot of blood."

"Just say it," she said. "Just tell me what happened. I can handle it."

The Healer took a deep breath before speaking.

"You had a miscarriage," he said.

She couldn't handle it.

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Please Leave a review and let me know if you think I should continue or if you have any suggestions. Thanks!


	3. Chapter 2

I made some minor adjustments to last chapter to maintain continuity.

PLEASE leave a review! I'm dying for some feedback!

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Anyone Who Knows What Love Is Will Understand

Chapter 2 - Every Goddamn Infuriating Inch of You

Two Days Later

Draco Malfoy felt numb. He was sitting in the hard white chairs in the waiting room at St. Mungo's. His mother was dead. Sure, she had been ill for a while, but she had always acted as if it wasn't anything serious. It was just like his mother to lie to keep him from worrying. She had been doing things like that his whole life. She didn't think he could handle the truth. He slowly pulled himself together and got out of the chair, slowly making his way towards the exit.

When he got home, he poured himself a fire whiskey and went to her office. It was one of his favorite rooms in the house. He used to spend hours there with her, helping to plan one event or another. He sat down at the beautiful mahogany desk his father had had hand carved for her. She had never let him sit here when he was a child. The chair was surprisingly less comfortable than he had expected. He wondered how she had sat here for so many hours without moving.

He opened the top drawer and smiled when he saw at the top of a stack of papers and other knick-knacks was a picture or the two of them at Platform 9 ¾ on his first day of school. The next few papers were a series of letters of correspondence between Narcissa and Lucius from when he was in Azkaban. Draco had read these before. He set them aside and continued his trip down his mother's memory lane. The next item he pulled out was a music box. It was white, medium sized and had an intricate silver design covering it. He opened it, but no music came out. The box contained a few items. One was a vial of what looked like memories for a pensive, the next was a small piece of tattered flannel cloth, and the final item was a small journal. His mother had always been one to write down her thoughts, but it was odd that this journal was separate from her others which adorned the shelves on the other side of the room. Draco hesitantly opened the book. It was from around the time of the Battle of Hogwarts. He skipped over most of the stuff about the Battle itself. He didn't want to relive all of that again. He skipped to a couple of days later. This entry seemed to be about him. He read the section quickly, not believing the words on the page. He had no memory of this. His mother wouldn't do that—no! His eyes fell again on the vial with the memories. This was the only way to confirm the story. He had to know! He picked up the vial, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yes?" he asked impatiently.

Astoria stuck her head in the room.

"Scorpious and I are going for a midnight stroll. There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight. Would you like to join us?" She asked.

"No, I'm rather tired," he lied easily, "You two enjoy the shower."

She nodded and slid out of the room.

Draco rushed out of the room as soon as he was sure she was gone. He practically ran all the way to his father's office at the other end of the wing. He hastily pulled the pensive out of the cabinet next to the portrait of his father on the wall and dumped the contents of the vial into it. Taking a deep breath, he plunged himself into the memories before him.

* * *

He was at Hogwarts, of that much he was certain. He was standing in an empty corridor. Smoke and rubble surrounded him. Suddenly he heard footsteps running toward him. It was Potter. She was practically sprinting down the corridor. He instinctively stepped aside when she got too close, despite knowing a memory couldn't physically run into him. More footsteps followed her and soon a much younger version of himself rounded the corner, calling after Potter.

"Potter! POTTER, WAIT!" he called.

She stopped and turned around. She didn't say anything, but she was breathing heavily.

"I wanted to ask you something," the younger Draco said.

"Well… go ahead then," she replied.

"Why? Why did you save me from the fire?"

She paused for a moment.

"I, um… just thought it was the right thing to do"

"Tell me the real reason," His voice sounded demanding, but his eyes were pleading.

"First, you tell me why you saved me at the manor," she replied.

He laughed even though it wasn't funny.

"Go on. Tell me," she ordered.

"Don't act like you don't know. You know. You must. I could never have turned you in to them. I could never do that to you. I—"

"Just say it, Draco"

"I LOVE YOU!" He shouted at her, "I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU! Since the day I met you in Madam Malkin's I've loved you! I love every part of you, every goddamn infuriating inch of you! I would've died there in that manor to protect you!"

He was breathing heavily now too and took a moment to compose himself before continuing.

"I know I have no reason to think for a second that you feel the same, but Harry, I _love_ you. And I could—no I would do anyth—"

His words were cut off by her lips crashing into his.

Draco carried her to the nearest dormitory and found a private room. As soon as they were alone she was ripping off his clothes, and he was doing the same to her. They spent hours there, exploring every inch of skin on each other. When the sun began to rise, Draco's eyes fluttered open. Harry was still next to him, sound asleep. Suddenly, he felt cold hands grip him and pull him out of bed. He looked up to see his mother standing over him. Her stern look told him that she wanted to talk to him now. He followed her into the hallway.

"Draco. What are you doing?" she scolded him in a hushed tone, probably not wanting Potter to wake up and join the conversation. "You know you're father and I have arranged a marriage for you and Astoria! I know we haven't made it official yet, since she isn't to be of age for a few weeks yet. But Honestly! You are a promised man. A promised PUREBLOOD man. This is simply unacceptable. Come with me this instant. We need to do some serious damage control here."

She began to turn to leave but Draco didn't move.

"No, mother."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm not leaving. I can't…I won't… I love her."

"Don't be ridiculous Draco. You've hated her for your entire life. I know emotions have been running high since the Battle, but just because some slut seduced you doesn't mean you're in love with her."

She grabbed his arm again and tried to pull him along with her but he resisted. He tried to go back into the bedroom, but his mother pulled the bedroom door closed, slamming his hand hard in the process. Draco yelped in pain and grabbed Harry's discarded flannel shirt from last night. It was jammed in the door and ripped when he pulled it, leaving only a small fragment of it in his hand. He threw this in his mother's face to distract her while he got up, but before he could get back in the bedroom, she pulled her wand on him. "Shit!" Draco thought, his wand was still on the bedside table in the bedroom.

"I'm sorry. Draco, but this family has suffered too much already. You have to marry Astoria."

"You can't make me!" he spat at her.

"Of course I can," she replied. "Obliviate."

* * *

Draco was expelled from the memory heaving and crying. His mother… she… she… NO! HOW COULD SHE?! He loved Potter. He'd always loved her. Hell, he would marry her right now if he could. How could his mother have taken this from him?

Draco threw himself on the couch and drank until he fell asleep in a fit of anger and loathing.

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Please leave a review and let me know what you think! I've been getting a lot a views, but no feedback to let me know if y'all want me to continue or not or if you have any suggestions. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 3

Getting close to the end! Let me know what you think or if you have suggestions! Please Review!

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Anyone Who Know What Love Is Will Understand

Chapter 3 – Trapped by This Thing Called Love

Sunday Night at the Annual Ministry Ball

Albus fidgeted with the collar of his dress robes. They pinched slightly at the base of his neck, so he adjusted them more, trying to find the most comfortable position.

There was a knock at the door, and Scorpious entered the room with a big smile on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Albus asked his friend.

"What? You're not excited about the party?" Scorpious responded.

"No. It's just a bunch of Ministry officials talking about politics. It's gonna be so boring," Albus groaned.

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun! My dad says they hired that band you like, and I hear the food at these this thing is fantastic!"

"I don't see why they want us to go anyway. We didn't have to go last year."

"Who cares, Albus?! This is gonna be great! Are you ready yet?"

"Yeah, I think so—"

"Knock knock!" Albus's dad said from the doorway, "You boys ready to head out?"

"Dad!" Albus cried, "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow?"

"I thought I'd head back a little early and surprise your mum. Are you two ready to leave?"

Albus and Scropious both nodded.

"Great. Let's go. Your mother is already waiting by the floo."

The three of them headed downstairs towards Harry, who was sitting in a chair next to the floo, browsing an old copy of The Quibbler.

"Are you ready to go Harry?" her husband asked.

"Yes, Jack," she responded, giving him a sweet peck on the cheek.

One by one, they each stepped into the fireplace and spun around until they stepped out in the entry way to the grand ballroom.

Half an hour later, Albus was shocked to find himself actually enjoying the party. The band was even better than he expected, and they had a delicious butterbeer and cinnamon drink at the bar. He had even seen Teddy right after they arrived and the two of them snuck out to the garden to play a quick game of exploding snap. Now, though, he was back inside and looking for Scorpious, He found his friend standing behind a statue of Merlin with a serious look on his face.

"Hey! Scorp—"

"SHHHHUSH!" his friend whispered covering Albus's mouth.

Albus was confused, but he didn't say anything again for a moment.

"Dammit!" Scorpious whispered, "I missed the last of it."

"The last of what?"

"My dad was talking to your mum. He said he needed to speak to her privately about something very urgent…. Hey! Where are you going?"

Albus was walking away quickly. Scorpious ran after him.

"I'm following them, obviously," Albus replied.

The two boys followed their parents down the hall and watched them go into a small sitting room. Mr. Malfoy closed the doors behind them.

Albus pulled an extendable ear out his pocket and placed it at the base of the door. He only had one, so he and Scorpious had to kneel down and put their heads together in an awkward position for both of them to hear.

"Well, what's so urgent that you had to pull in here to talk to me about it?" he heard his mother ask.

"Would you sit down?" Mr. Malfoy asked.

There was a creaking of a chair inside.

"My mother passed away this week."

"Yes, you have my condolences. I sent flowers on behalf of myself and Jack."

"Yes. I got them. That was kind of you both, but that's not what I want to talk about. Please, just listen without interrupting for a moment."

"Okay."

Mr. Malfoy then launched into a very boring story about his relationship with his mother and how she just wanted him to be a good pureblood wizard. After a few minutes, Albus almost gave up and headed back to the party, but Scorpious insisted that they keep listening.

"And then I was going through her desk and I found this…"

There was a long silence. Found what? Albus wondered. He could feel the tension building in the room on the other side of the door.

"Draco…" his mother sighed.

"I know it was a long time ago," Mr. Malfoy continued, "But it's all new to me. To me, it's like it just happened… And I could never forgive myself if I didn't ask, why? Why didn't you ever say anything about it to me?"

There was a long pause before Albus heard his mother's voice.

"I… I tried to come talk to you about it. A few weeks later I came to the manor, but I heard about your engagement to Astoria. I thought it just didn't matter to you as much as it did to me… And then…"

"Then what?"

"I was going to come back because I had something important to tell you."

"What did you have to tell me?"

The next words were spoken so quietly that neither Albus nor Scorpious could quite make them out, but the next thing they heard was weeping. It wasn't clear who was crying or if they both were.

"I love you."

The words were spoken by Mr. Malfoy. Both of the boys froze and looked at each other with wide eyes.

"I love you, Harry. You are the love of my life. Since the moment I met you in that robe shop in Diagon Alley I knew you were made for me."

"Draco, I—"

"Please, let me finish. We have lost so much time together. I don't want to be away from you for another minute—another second—of my life."

"Draco, I'm already married! You're already married!"

"I know everyone else will think I'm a fool for throwing away a perfectly good marriage, but they don't see what I see when I look at you. When I look at you, I see my whole life. I see the whole universe in your eyes. I see you peering into my soul with those gorgeous emerald eyes, and it takes every once of my self-control to keep my hands off you. And I know we fight, and we drive each other crazy! And I love that! I miss that! I want to spend every day for the rest of my life driving you crazy!"

"But our spouses—"

"They don't know what true happiness is. Anyone who's had a love like ours, anyone who knows what love is will understand."

"What are you boys doing?" A voice spoke from behind Albus and Scorpious.

They turned around to see Albus's father standing behind them.

"Dad, we were just—"

"Eavesdropping?"

Both boys nodded, looking guilty.

"Is your mother in there? I've been looking for her."

Neither boy moved.

"Are you going to answer me?"

The boys stayed as still as statues.

Albus's rather maneuvers around them and opens the door. Albus turns to look and sees his mother and Mr. Malfoy in a deep and passionate kiss. His father clears his throat and the two slowly break apart.

"Albus," his father says, "I think it's time for you and Scorpious to go home."

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